Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Obey

There's one thing I've learned about little boys...they can play for hours with a stick or in a mud hole.  Hours.  But when they are quiet...you can bet that they are up to something.

After the recent hurricane left pools of fun in our driveway, my favorite little four-year old couldn't resist.  He rode his bike through the hole and in a dead stop got his training wheels stuck in the mud.  Still pedaling as fast as he could go, mud was flying everywhere as his tires just spun with laughter.

I quickly came to his recovery and busted his mischievous bubble when I clearly instructed him to stay out of the mud!  I know...I'm a party pooper.  But, we did have somewhere to go and another bath was not in our hurried schedule.  As I went inside to finish getting myself ready, the quiet moments should have been a dead giveaway.  Sure enough, when the cat's away the mice will play...and back into the mud he went...spinning tires and slinging mud all over everything within a mad-man's reach.

In his scorning, I asked him all the "mom" questions.  "Didn't you hear me tell you to stay out of the mud?"  "So why did you disobey?"


His tearful, shameful reply, "Cause, Mama, I just really really wanted to disobey.  I just really wanted to play in the mud."

Well, at least he's honest I guess...but as I reflected, I couldn't help but hear my own reply to my Father in my disobediences to Him.

But, God, "I just really really wanted to..."

And in my words to my own son, I hear His voice, "So what you want means more to you than obeying Me out of your love for Me?"

And I hang my head low...and He lifts my chin and offers His loving grace once again in His gentle correction.


The mud has already been washed away.  

Your God has commanded your strength [your might in His service and impenetrable hardness to temptation]. O God display Your might and strengthen what you have wrought for us!   
Psalm 67:28 

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Surrender


It was a normal day, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning, running a few errands.  A quick stop to the bank and she would finally be headed home to her hot bubble bath for a few uninterrupted moments of solitude.  She walked through the doors, made her way to the counter, and in one single instant...was frozen in fear as the cold, metal shaft hit the middle of her tiny back.  She could feel every pulsing of her heart throughout her body as it was shaking in a quake of terror.  The breath of his panting, intensified with his every command and she knew that complete submission was her only hope for escape.  Without hesitation, she threw up her hands, reached for the sky, and opened herself to shear, total obedience to his spoken word.  She knew not what the next minute would bring, but she knew, at all costs, she must be utterly surrendered.

Utterly surrendered...

Surrendered with open arms...leaving her heart susceptible to hurt. Throwing her hands up...saying to him I release all control to you.

Surrendered with open arms...leaving her heart susceptible to hurt.  Reaching her hands up...saying to HIM I release ALL control to you.


God could do that.  He could hold a gun to our backs forcing us to do His will, leaving us no choice but to obey His every command...no choice but to give up all control to Him.  Yet He doesn't...                        

And we don't.



Can I be real?  I struggle with Surrender.  Sometimes I think it would be easier for me if I had a gun at my back...waiting for His every command...with no choice but to obey.  I struggle with reaching for the sky leaving my heart open and vulnerable for the possibility of hurt, suffering, and disappointment.  I struggle with trusting in Him when I can't see what He's doing, when I don't know His timing, or when I can't hear His direction in the very pulse of my being.  I struggle with surrender when I am overcome and completely overwhelmed in the depths of my heart with the desperate hope that my desire is His will...or with the fear that it isn't.  I struggle when surrender means that I may even have to give up control of what I pray because I don't even know the right thing to say and need the Holy Spirit to intercede in my ignorance of His will.

I crave that peace that surpasses all understanding...that peace that comes from total Surrender.


When Christ prayed in the garden, He cried out His desire to the Father...take this cup from Me.  But in total Surrender, with the cross at His back, He held up His arms...leaving His heart open for hurt and suffering...releasing control right til the very last breath...to the will of the Father.

Lord, Jesus, make us more like You.



Friday, August 19, 2011

Though none go with me...

As tears stream uncontrollably down my face, the bones within me are shaking,
My spirit crushed to a lonely place and my heart is all but breaking.
I look inside my fearful soul with tender questions calling
With no more strength to stand alone, to my knees I'm desperately falling
These quiet walls entrap my mind with thoughts of what restrains me
And I cry out "Abba" Father, please, send angels to sustain me
Though things I do not understand have made my soul feel hollow
My covenant song rings loud and clear, Though none go with me, I will follow.
No turning back, No turning back no matter what life brings
The bumblebee flies despite the lack of strength within its wings
In my Father's hands I'll accept His will, I'm confidently surrendered
In the grip of His amazing grace its me that is remembered
He cried my name as He yelled out, Father please forgive them
And all He asks to His return, my heart, my life, to live Him.
So though it sometimes hurts to breathe and though my heart is bleeding
I find in Him the strength to stand and take the devil's beating
Because I know, though He allows my suffering and my sorrow
He is bound by promises of a day that brings a new tomorrow.






Sunday, August 14, 2011

Handmaid from Heaven

In the glimpse of one single moment, merely by His spoken Word, her life was eternally changed...her intended direction, knocked completely off course...steering her to a place that would surely bring fear...not just of rejection...but fear for the very breath of her life. What would she do?  What would she say?  How would she manage?  How would she answer the questions that would surely be thrown upon her as the truth was revealed?  Would she be left to face her destiny...alone?

She didn't ask for this.  She led a simple, quiet, honest life, honoring Him in the best way she knew how.  In her heart she beamed at the honor...but they wouldn't understand.

Yet, in her desperate circumstance, she didn't waiver.  She didn't question.  She didn't argue.  She didn't turn back.


Did she know the dangers she could face?  Abandonment, humiliation, even execution...

And did she know the magnitude of her purpose?  Did she know then the suffering that she would watch Him endure...her baby...her boy...her Son?


And in the midst of the swarming questions in her heart...she answered with a simple, yet powerful, harvested faith..."Let it be done to me according to Your word."



 In the glimpse of one single moment, merely by His spoken Word, His life was eternally changed...His intended direction, completely on course...steering Him to a place that would surely bring fear...not just of rejection...but fear for the very breath of His life. What would He do?  What would He say?  How would He manage?  How would He answer the questions that would surely be thrown upon Him as the truth was revealed?  Would He be left to face His destiny...alone?


He didn't ask for this.  He led a simple, quiet, honest life, honoring His Father in the best way He knew how.  In His heart He beamed at the honor...but they wouldn't understand.

Yet, in His desperate circumstance, He didn't waiver.  He didn't question.  He didn't argue.  He didn't turn back.

He knew the dangers He would face.  Abandonment, humiliation, even execution...


He knew the magnitude of His purpose. He knew then the suffering that He would endure...for His children...His daughters...His sons.


And in the midst of the agony in His heart...He answered with a simple, almighty, all powerful, perfect faith..."Not My will but Yours be done."

I will suffer...for Your glory.  I will hurt...for Your glory.  I give my heart to be broken...for Your glory.  I offer my life, my plans, my desires, even my very breath...for Your glory.

You are my God.  I give You my heart...I give it all to You.  May it be done to me according to Your Word...Not my will, but Yours be done.







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